How often have we sat with our disrespectful thoughts or internal monologue? How often have we let eerie thoughts linger around us like unwanted mosquitos, sucking away at our joy or contentment? Why do we sit with this? Sure, emotional, and mental mosquito repellent doesn’t really exist, but we could choose to not venture into the swampy, mosquito filled, places that encroach on our subconscious minds…and yet, we still do. For my challenge peeps, maybe your day started by vehemently stating “I’m not making any progress!” Disregarding the fact that you have lost some weight in the first few weeks of your new venture but, “it’s not enough.” As you continue to spiral into the depths of despair and annoyance, this, Alice, is where we should have avoided that rabbit hole all together. We shouldn’t have let ourselves slip into the negative Ted-Talk that you just spent 45 minutes giving yourself.
Now, everyone I know, even outside of the challenge, struggles with standing in their own way, or self-deprecation, in one form or the other. internally we deal ourselves crushing blows by the constant rain of beratement, self-deprecation, and self-sabotage.
Whether we are pursuing our goals athletically, financially, interpersonally etc. we need to have a “come to your deity moment” where we really ask ourselves, why do we stand in our own way? Why do we follow the white rabbit of self-deprecation down the burrow? Do we want to stand in our own way? Or, is it simply easier to slip back into poorly grown habits rather than stand up for ourselves, to ourselves? Were we taught to put ourselves last (the noble lie told by many), in order to take care of those more deserving?
Which part of that resonated with you? If something did, sit with that. Let the reasoning resonate with you for a moment. Do you have an idea of how to stop yourself? Can you champion your own cause instead of flinging yourself into the fire swamp and giving yourself iocane powder for punishment (10 points if you get the reference)? Why is it that when we struggle, as adults, we rip into a litany of internal verbal abuse? We would never speak that way to a child. We certainly wouldn’t allow someone to verbally abuse a child in front of us, so why do we tolerate it for ourselves? When you find yourself in your darkest moments, can you figure out what drives you to that borrow of despair? Can you stop yourself from following the rabbit?
Well, do you have your answer? From there, can you starve your fears?
The next time you find yourself spinning out of control, falling into the mental trap that is our subconscious, try to remind yourself what counters your fears. Where are your strengths? Where do you feel empowered and vibrant? Filled with flame, salt, and seawater? Where do you slay dragons? What personality traits double as weapons of safety and malice? Of self-worth and love?
Whatever you are currently mulling over I hope you know you are so much more than your fears. Your worth is 10 billion times that of your biggest short coming, your biggest fears, your biggest obstacle.
So, Alice, before you jump down that rabbit hole. Remember that Dinah had the common sense to not follow the rabbit. Dinah played in the sun. Dinah lingered in the light; Alice played in shadow. While both are fine, both have a time and place. In moments of hardship, I have drawn from the dark remnants of my past to hurdle me through the swamps that were slowing me down (mental or physical) or battle the RUS’s (again 10 points if you get this) that sit in the shadows of our minds, feeding off fear and trepidation. But in the moments where contentment lives, where neither hardship nor elation can reach, it is the happier moments, the moments where our internal warrior (or Alice) can sit beneath a tree and sleep, that will lend us comfort. As we journey towards a healthier version of ourselves (mentally as well), it is important to identify which thoughts, habits, or monologues, will lead to us tumbling down the rabbit hole or allow us to stay on the path to our goals.
Think about that the next time you’re teetering on knifes edge: will you follow the rabbit? Or, will you avoid the mental traps that you know will greet you just below?
In love, honey, and salt,
LP
THE BUNKER 