If you’re like me and the news / media spin of the coronavirus has your head spinning and anxiety spiking, I feel you. It’s 10:41 pm, 5-hours and 41 minutes after all gyms were forced to shut down, and I still feel sick to my stomach.
Why? I’m worried about my staff, how they’ll get paid, how their families are doing, how are they dealing with this emotionally, mentally, and physically? I’m wondering how the hell I’m going to handle 2-weeks off (for the love of whatever is actually in charge of this floating rock in space, please do not make it more than that), and how the hell I’m going to pay bills. Bottom line, it’s the same concern that everyone else has.
So, check-in with me: how are you doing? How are you holding up, truly (don’t give me the bs answer you give your mom when she calls but you know damn-well that the pantry is empty)? How are the people in your life? Are they checking-in? Do you feel supported? Are you practicing boundaries and taking care of your emotional energy during this time?
It is so easy to nurse away the fear and anxiety in our day-to-day lives. We can bury ourselves in work, partners, or become so emotionally closed-off that we lack depth. This is not the time to fall into old patterns of coping. Despite how horrendously scary this time is, you have just that – time. Time to spend on you. What emotional tasks have you put off catering to ‘productivity?’ Have you neglected a loved one? Have you refused to speak your truth because ‘the timing wasn’t right?’ How have you failed to show up for yourself in your life?
Don’t rush to answer those questions. Maybe it’s incredibly apparent. Maybe you need to sit with it. Either way, we are in a shitty predicament where we have nothing but time; now we must cleanse the wounds you’ve failed to deal with…cause, whichever band-aid method you’ve chosen doesn’t cut it. My band-aide of choice? Productivity. I am the capitalist system’s dream child. I love to be ‘productive’ and stay busy. And would you look at that, what don’t I have access to right now? The gym and my job. Fuck.
Here’s the thing, as painful as it is to deal with our shit, maybe this is the perfect call out. We’ve been forced to standstill, and now you need to look at your life and own up for your shit. No, you weren’t too busy with work to talk to your wife, you didn’t want to. Your kid isn’t a shit, you just haven’t shown up for them in their day-to-day because ‘work.’ With the guise of ‘busy’ ripped off capitalist mantle we are now forced to look at our lives differently.
Aside from the questions poised above, which I truly hope you take the time to answer, how are you going to show up for yourself in this down-time? How are you going to show up for those you love? I don’t have any answers. Really. I can only help ya’ll by providing workouts and some tips to staying sane. I’m a conduit for stress-relief, of sorts. I wish I could be helpful, guys Truly. The last thing I have to say is that when your anxiety spikes and you feel like it is going to crash into you like gigantic, life-crushing, wave…remember that your thoughts are not always reality. Your inner voice isn’t God, and quite frankly our inner voice needs to shut the hell up most days. Your feelings, your fear, your anxiety is valid…but this is systemic. These feelings are not sitting squarely on your shoulders, this is not a burden for you alone. When you start to feel like drowning is inevitable, reach out. If nothing else, I’m here and can chat you out of the deep end (I’d offer coffee but social distancing…).
Try to remember: You are seen. You are valid. You are doing a great job.
(parents, please don’t stress out about the kids right now. There is no ‘right’ way to parent in a pandemic. Don’t stress screen time, or snack choice, parent with grace [for yourself]. The kids are fine.)
Signing off,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Soldierfit
THE BUNKER 